Monday, December 20, 2010

forgive me, dear leader

Posted in Political Dreams tagged at 1:30 pm by madcorbin

I was a North Korean citizen trying to defect to the United States. North Korea had decided to allow travel to other countries, but they put all prospective travelers through a rigorous and intense, multi-part interview process to weed out anyone they thought was in danger of leaving permanently.

I arrived at the airport in my town, ready to board a flight to Pyongyang, which would connect me with an international flight. I met with a number of screeners who each interrogated me in various ways designed to test my patriotism and loyalty to North Korea.

After several hours and several interviews, I passed by pretending that I had lost my legs below the knees, which I tricked them into believing simply by walking around on my knees or on all fours. The guards never noticed my shins folded behind me.

When I arrived in Pyongyang, I met up with several coworkers, all of us elated at having passed the first test. Then I began meeting with more interviewers. Throughout the entire process I was extremely nervous, because if the guards realized I was lying or that I was planning to defect, they would arrest me and my family and sentence us to a lifetime in North Korea’s labor camps.

During a part of the interview in Pyongyang, I got on my knees again to feign having lost my legs, when I realized that no one at this airport knew I was legless, so I didn’t have to lie about it anymore.

I woke up before I found out if I passed.